I should make it clear from the beginning that this unhealthy obsession with weight is not limited to Pakistani women but is the universal truth for women everywhere.
We are either too thin or too fat, with most of us being the latter. In Pakistan, a woman’s elegance, grace, beauty or self-worth is all linked to her weight and other women, mostly, deem a skinny female to be successful. I noticed this on a recent trip to Pakistan.
After meeting relatives whom I hadn’t seen for a long time, the first thing they commented on was my weight, which had become quite rotund. It didn’t occur to them that maybe they could ask me about my studies or my career but instead they decided to focus on my physical appearance. If I lost too much weight then comments would fly around me being ‘kamzor’ (weak) and dieting too much.
There’s just no way out of this!
Such rude remarks weren’t limited to relatives but to beauty parlour assistants as well. However, they were kind enough to label me ‘healthy’ instead of fat.
I, however, have absolutely no qualms about my weight. I love the curvy, healthy look that celebrities like Beyonce or Kim Kardashian espouse. There is far too much pressure placed on girls of a younger generation to be thin and look a certain way.
A close friend’s daughter was taunted so much about her weight that she became alarmingly thin and had to be hospitalised. She reduced her food portions so drastically that her weight plummeted and the encouragement from her friends to continue exacerbated the problem. This is just one example I know of. I have heard of countless more.
Anorexia nervosa is a mental health disorder affecting on average 1 in 1000 people. It is a disorder which is scarcely discussed in Pakistan but one with very real consequences. Subjects usually limit their food intake so severely that their weight drops below the normal range, and if the weight isn’t stabilised or increased, it can result in death. Although anorexia statistics in Pakistan are not well known, I am absolutely certain that peer pressure, expectations of how women should look and the media plays a very potent role in keeping young girls enslaved to the concept of thin equals beautiful.
This is a dangerous mind-set and one which needs to change.
Instead of trying to focus on our outward appearance, we should concentrate on how to become better human beings first. Women should focus on excelling in education and become individuals who have something positive to contribute to the society rather than becoming stick figures and revelling in this new found glory.
Indeed, weight loss is a very morale-boosting event, but it should not consume our lives or reach a stage where it becomes unhealthy.
There is more to life than calories and kilograms!
The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necassarily reflect the views and policies of the Express Tribune.
Never judge a fat person, never judge a skinny one. But if you fall in the middle, you are truly blessed!!!!!!
Every women in this world is obsessed with weight. Also i am sure you are stating here that you have no problem with the weight of the women but when you will be the discussing the possible bride for your son or your relative then i will love to listen to your opinion..
Weight is just like the color as all women will state that they dont discriminate but at the same time just ask them to give opinion for any prospective bride and they will be the first one to join in the bandwagon to criticize her for these attributes.
Beyonce and Kim Kardashian Right !!!! You are really making sense.
Pakistani women? i think author is in mood to blow things out of proportion and use the label “Pakistani” .. there is way too high ratio of anorexics exist in the western part of the world lady…
We can never think beyond these physical appearances! Every other person levels you on the basis of how you look rather than what you really are from the inside! Sad but true!
Fatness leads to obesity and obesity is a disease.. not only women but men should also be cautious to prevent themselves with this disease.. so I don’t see anything bad in it… Stop justifying weight gain with I-don’t-give-a-damn attitude.. its a problem that needs to be rectified…
Fatness leads to obesity and obesity is a disease.. not only women but men should also be cautious to prevent themselves with this disease.. so I don’t see anything bad in it… Stop justifying weight gain with I-don’t-give-a-damn attitude.. its a problem that needs to be rectified…
Fatness CAN lead to obesity (as can other health problems), but the problem is society doesn’t criticize seriously overweight or obese people; the expectation is to be a size 0-4 for women and be buff and broad for men, and that’s it. No in between or moderate middle. There are many healthy body types that are not close to a size 0-4, but are by no means “fat.” While I’m all for men and women watching their weight and remaining healthy, the line has to be drawn somewhere and people who are a healthy, normal weight need to stop obsessing and trying to lose excessive amounts of weight. That, as much as obesity, is also a problem that needs to be rectified.
On a different note, I don’t think only women face this problem worldwide anymore. I know many men (especially younger men) who are very weight conscious (most more so than me). Go to any gym at any time (even 24 hour gyms) and you’ll see guys packed inside lifting weights. Male vanity is fast growing. If done for health reasons, I support it. When people get swept away in society’s idea of perfection, then it becomes a problem.
Yeah well said its common i am also fed up with these types of comments
Yeah well said its common i am also fed up with these types of comments
I agree with this blog post to some extent but the fact remains that if we feel good, we’ll eventually look good and looking good has nothing to do with weight loss unless its someone who is over weight or comes under the category of “obese”.
Therefore, please do not blog about petty issues that you faced just because people commented on your weight gain and you weren’t happy with it. Sheeshh!
Do you mean to say that Kim Kardashian and Beyonce are on the ‘ healthy ‘ side…..or did it just comes out all wrong.
Women and their weight is a subject that will never be understood by men. To illustrate here’s a small story : Yesterday at a visit to her orthopedic doctor my wife ignored the diagnosis that P3,P4 and P5 on the backbone were showing signs of decay and the fact that he said her weight to height ratio was fantastic…… made her day.
Cos we are not satisfied
Believe me when i say women (and for that matter men too) in Pakistan don’t obsess about weight loss.. the only thing they obsess about.. is obsessing about weight. Having run a community Big Fat Losers that motivates people to be healthier… i get incensed over how people are always obsessing about the scale and never about their eating habits.. about becoming muscular from weight lifting and never talking about lack of physical activity in general.. about totkas on weight loss through green tea and slimming centers as opposed to cutting processed foods or calmness of the soul! If they actually obsessed about weight – they would resolve the root cause rather than the symptoms!
Hahaha I couldnt agree more with Nabeel!! They’ll obsess and whine but do nothing about it. Pakistani women (as a majority might I clarify before people jump at me for ‘generalizing’) honestly are in a pretty shameful condition. They have way too much free time at hand and dont really put their brains to any productive use. Obsession with weight, judging any and every person for his/her looks/weight/personality/life choices and assuming a higher moral ground all the time – this is about all they really do!
Why are Pakistani women obsessed with their weight?
bcz they r fat
It’s time for Pakistan men to get obsessed with their weight…’cause they’re fat and don’t even know it!
I have to agree with SamarYz on this one. I don’t see Pakistani men winning any medals for best physique. Older they get, wider they get. Nobody finds that attractive. Maybe it’s high time Pakistani men pay attention to what they look like.
if they would concentrate more on hair removal that i’d be great
Exactly. Women are obsessed with their weight all over world.
EVery married women usually got fat in Pak and start on mission to make fat around her people to feel better.
Agree with the author – real women have curves
And inside is just pulp, not beautiful 🙂
I don’t mean to be critical of any person as i understand that those who are comfortable with themselves and their bodies are simply more happier irrespective of what is said about them. At the same time, many living a unhealthy lifestyle and thus gaining unusual weight compliment it by referring to lets say beyonce, beyonce is curvaceous but she is definitely not fat and its not even fair to quote a celebrity example as things are very different for people like us. Being over weight is not just about appearance but also about the quality of life, mental state and physical state. Anybody saw that BBC documentary “the men who made us fat” watch it, such an eye opener.
The title is wrong, please. All women across the world are obsessed with
their weight and before you wage fingers at women, and feign selective
amnesia have you forgotten the comments from mothers, mom in laws,
aunties and others saying.. don’t eat this, mooti hojao gee, kon shade
kare ga etc etc. If we are obsessed with out weight is because of the
pressure and societal mind-sets. Haven’t you seen 200 kilo man with a
anorexic wife and people still commenting on her wieght and not that of
the goon she’s unfortunate enough to be married to? Time to come back to earth from the space ship called “DENIAL”
It’s all about perception. When people get swept away with society’s idea of perfect, they’ll always be unhappy. When people create their OWN idea of what’s “perfection” for them and just strive for that, they’ll be happier for it. I’ve never cared for someone else’s opinion of me over my own. Because of that I’ve always been happy with myself, irrespective of what someone else’s opinion is.
Furthermore, I don’t find this to be a woman only thing anymore. Men are becoming very weight conscious which is both good and bad. Good to be healthy, but bad to be obsessed or tie appearance with self esteem.
I’m a bit surprised this is such a common issue in Pakistan considering I imagine a majority of the population is more concerned about putting ANY food on the table.
i have noted a lot in comments and in blog….Pakistani women is discussed so adequately,as she wants herself a slim and smart lady but it’s not limited just to Pakistan’s boundary.such, can found over all Asia.
The reason tends them to say ” I am fat enough to look ugly” is their future life, because in Pakistan every mother found to be much interested in a lean,attenuate and skinny girl for her son.
Unfortunately, the women that I have been around, certainly don’t give a damn about their weight !
Everybody should obsessed with their weight and have to control it. If you don’t like it keep on gaining more mass. No worries. 🙂
well this the condition in all the world, but it is even worse in western societies where being attractive is very important.
This is how our society thinks. I believe you should be healthy and being overweight or underweight is not being healthy. However, just on the basis of looks, we cant really judge the person. Thats where we go wrong. We tend to judge the whole personality on the basis of weight and/or height. Its really sarcastic though when a person who him/herself needs to pay attention their weight, place nasty remarks on others. oh well these people will remain the same, from what I’ve learned, it completely depends on you. The way you take those remarks. Just stay calm and smile. Trust me it works wonders.
First of all, women are self-concious about their weight all around the world’ the media pressurizes women to be that way, and it’s a natural way of thinking for girls. Second, I think women/girls in Pakistan/India are more ‘obsessed’ with their skin colour or tone, than anything else. Basically if you are not light-skinned, you’re not pretty.
Ok. So I don’t agree with this. This happens everywhere else so like…